The Lay Man's Guide To Seduction

An applied psychological approach to the old problem of seduction.
Or, in lay terms (sic) "how to chat up that bit you fancy".

In this essay I shall attempt to convey my observations, and research into the art of seduction. Seduction is a game which is played everyday in every country by millions of people. It's simply a natural form of human courtship.

Nothing to be ashamed about, unless like me you're married, in which case it can be a dangerous game. Seduction is not the same as flirting. Flirting is more
malicious, Eric Berne refers to it as the "game of rapo".

Flirting is simply capturing attentions, and often involves teasing.

Seduction, however, is the act of trying to convince some one - usually a stranger - to mate with you. You don't have to take it this far, you can use the principles to establish a long lasting loving relationship, but all journeys must start with a first step. In human relations, this first step often involves physical attraction which triggers our biological system into lust mode.

Even if you wish to remain a virgin untill your wedding night, to get to a wedding night you must establish a raport with a suitable partner. In this essay I should like to describe some of the more successful ways in which raport can be established, and hopefully without being too dry and boring.

Making the move. To me this is the hardest part. The actually walking up to  a complete stranger and making an introduction.

Sure, it's easier if you are introduced, by accident perhaps?

Accidents are wonderful for breaking the ice.  I don't mean that you should run your victim over in your car, no, rather that you might "bump in to them", apologise, smile and voila! Or perhaps you and your victim smoke? In this case you may disvover that you have "lost" your cigarette lighter, or that it's run out of fuel. How unfortunate, now you have an excuse to approach the victim in order
to request ignition of your cigarette.

A gentleman may of course offer a light to a woman, even an old slapper is not adverse to a little feminine flattery some times! If all else fails, try "Hi! How ya doing?" It works. Why? Because it's non-threatening, friendly, open, honest and not controversial. It should be said while maintaining eye contact and with a genuine smile.

Having made contact, it's time to move in. Your opening lines are vital. It is in these first few seconds, no more than fifteen, that you must establish the link between you and your victim. An opening line of, "Cor! I don't half fancy you!" will rarely succeed in anything more than embarrassement for the victim resulting in defence, and a lonely night for you. Rather, perhaps admire something about them.

Now beware, they know you are trying to seduce them (or "chat them up" as is the common phrase), so be wary of obviously cheap and shallow praise. Rather, pick something which they are obviously very proud of.  If the victim has an intricate hair-do, the chances are they are proud of it and keen for it to be
admired - so do so. There's little to be gained from mentioning how good the victim looks in Levis, we all wear them.

Contact is important. Admiring the victim's watch or bracelet can give you the opportunity to touch their arm gently. Done in a practised way this can be very erotic. The arm is an erogenous zone, don't caress it, that's obvious.  Rather, be gentle, soft and casual. Watch the victim's body language. If they shiver and a
glazed look flashes through their eyes, you're onto a winner!

Perhaps you read palms? You don't? You should! Nothing like it.

Everyone adores having their palm read. Especially women. It gives you a carte blanche for two things: Firstly it enables you to hold their hands. Secondly, you get the chance for some subtle flattery, and making the victim feel good and important.

Success depends upon convincing your victim that: a) they are having a good time (you are interesting); or b) that they are going to have a good time (in bed with you). It is easy to convince someone that you are interesting, simply let them do all the talking. Paradoxical it may sound, but people love talking about
themselves and about things they feel passionate about.

If you can get your victim to talk about themselves, and the things they love,
and then simply listen, smile, and nod as appropriate, they will feel good. Trying to convince the victim that you are excellent in bed is more difficult. If they find you attractive, the battle's won. If not, then cliches about the size of your organ, or bravado about your exploits will not aid you. They are obviously shallow,
and will be seen through. Avoid them!

Don't allow the conversation to dry up. Ask questions which can't be answered by either "yes" or "no". So rather than asking; "Do you like Foster's Ice beer?", which can be answered, "yes" or "no", try, "What do you like to drink?".

Here are some other lines for you to try:

"Do you like cocktails?"          

 (You're so sophisticated and rich)

"Would you like a Harvey Wallbanger?"

 (You're so sophisticated and rich)

"What do you do for a job?"          

(Let them know you're interested in them).

"You look bored"                      

(Suggests they may receive a good time with you)

Some other authors have suggested taking a victim to a restaurant where you know the waiter's by name. I feel this can come across as a bit "smart-assish".  And, as we all know, everyone hates a smart- ass! Try to avoid making comments obviously intended to impress, such as "I'm a friend of so-and-so", your victim might not like so-and-so. Claiming to be tough and macho again doesn't do much for your credibility.

Avoid making jokes about your self or your victim. Other people, fine. But avoid malice. Don't critize, rather praise, be positive!

Men, how can you tell when a girl is giving you the eye? If she comes and sits on your lap, it's a pretty fair bet she fancies you. But how about the more subtle techniques employed by women to attract your attention. Generally women are more subtle than men.

They will perhaps dance where you can observe them, in the hope that you will be impressed and approach them. They may glance at you, or position themself close to you. And then await your approach.

Don't wait for the girl to make the move, she wont, and you can ignore those guys who claim they never chat-up women, but rather that women flock to them. It's bravado bullshit.

After establishing contact, and a bit of conversation, a man may wish to "get his leg over". This is a challenge when presented with all but the most common of women. Women have two problems with sex on a first date: Firstly they don't want to appear too easy.

Secondly they are scared of being raped/assaulted/murdered.

Remember guys, she doesn't yet know you! So how can you reduce these two objections? In a word, etiquette. By acting in a courteous and gentlemanly manner you will: a) indicate that you consider her to be a lady, and by reference not easy, and b) you will reduce her fear of being attacked. Gentlemen do not attack women, so she'll think.

Help her on with her coat, attend to her, ensuring her glass is refilled when emptied. Light her cigarette for her. And don't make blue jokes or inferences. If this fails, you can always resort to getting her absolutely pissed as a fart, but that holds the risk that she'll pass out, and in an ethical sense is she really in any
state of mind to consent? Remember, sex without her consent is rape, and that's just simply not on.

What if it's you that's being chatted up and you don't like it? If you want to get out of being seduced, just talk about your children. Mentioning you husband/wife rarely succeedes, and claiming to be gay (when you're not) has too many risks attached with it; perhaps the seductor is bi-sexual or has a "friend" you may like to meet! The last resort has got to be claiming to have an infectious, and unpleasant disease; VD or AIDs. Use this as a last resort though, as rumours will spread and the people you want to seduce may have heard about your little "parting gift".