Best relationship advice

Opposites attract?

Whatever is true for matter (atoms, electrons...) is not necessarily true for humans. Yes, PLUS attracts MINUS in this very physical universe. However, that is not true for the "universe of human relationships". For 2 humans to fit together for a long time it is best to have similar attitudes + similar efforts + areas where both individuals complement each other. The end result for atoms is "stones, planets and star clusters". The desired result for human relationships is happiness, games, creation and experience. And this differs totally from being a stone. To cut a long story short: Don't be fooled by this saying. Search for a partner who is similar and not opposite. Do not try a dating strategy by being as differing as possible. Don't disagree bluntly with your talking partner during a date. If you agree then show it. You can even dress similarly. She wears jeans and T-shirts? You could wear them, too. If you want you can subtly copy her communication style: Her vocabulary, her mannerisms, her gestures and reactions. But don't overdo it.

Love on the first Sight

This is an important side note to Opposites attract. It IS possible that you have 2 people who fell in love suddenly although they actually don't fit: PersonA enters the room, PersonB looks at him and *BOOOM* they could stare for minutes at each other. For minutes wondering how beautiful the other person is. Beautiful. Magnetic. For minutes. This is usually accompanied by a warm strong feeling. It is called "Love at first sight". It is not that you get a crush on the other person because the person is pretty. In fact you both could even look ugly, but during this staring you just think how beautiful the other person is and that the face matches exactly what you need. This attraction is very strong and I don't know what I write this here for, since you won't listen to me anyway when it hit you   :) However there is a warning to show you that love at first sight might be the wrong thing to wait for: It seems that this attraction usually occurs when both are in the exact same emotional mood.  Let me specify: If PersonA is angry in this very moment (because he just lost 10$) and he sees PersonB who isUSUALLY angry (= all of the time)  then both "universes may merge" although both persons won't fit in the long run.

Ways of attraction

How can you tell whether 2 people fit together in the long run? There are different "fittings" Intellectual attraction You vote for the same political party, you read the same books. Esthetics/Art attraction You share the same taste of music, you like to go to the theatre, you like the same kind of furniture Sexual attractionYou waaant to have sex with each other. Experience attractionYou just feel that the other person has the same level of experience/life wisdom. You survived a dangerous car accident, she survived a dangerous car accident. You suffered because of loneliness, she suffered because of loneliness. Now there is an "experience affinity". Age attractionHave you ever wondered why old people don't like to date teenies? And why teenies don't like old people? Let's take a man at age 45. He will not automatically be fond of teens. He will prefer women around his age. Yes, of course there are BOYs who like grannies and vice versa. But normally the "ideal picture of a partner's body" CHANGES with age. You as a man suddenly start to like women with wrinkles the older you get. Empathic attractionYou understand each other's feelings without words. You can duplicate why the other "reacted how he reacted". You can feel each other from a distance. Input-Output attraction You have matching amounts of input (impressions) every day. You have matching amounts of talkativeness. You could talk/listen for hours. Intelligence attraction You react with the same speed. Somebody tells a joke and you start to laugh in the same second. In talks nobody has to wait for the other to understand. Genetical attraction Your bodies match. You like each other's smell. You will have healthy children. Outfit attraction/Beauty attraction You think the other one is pretty.  Bacteria attraction You have the same diseases and infections. You can find more attractions than those above, but I want to make a point here: One single of those attractions can be so strong that you may lose the whole picture (= the importance of the other attractions). In a long lasting relationship some of initially strong attractions may become less important while some other may become impertinent. Usually at the beginning of a relationship the sexual attraction is strong. When it cools down (after 1 month or 1 year or so) then you'd better have another strong attraction running. Otherwise you may lose the interest in each other