Even More ... Powerful Dating Tips

IF A GIRL LOOKS AT YOU                        -           DON'T LOOK AWAY. And let me repeat the same things as in Eye-to-eye telepathy: Look into her eyes a bit longer than you usually do Communicate your self-confidence by "eye signals" Communicate your willingness to date her by "eye signals" Communicate some "fun factors" (= how much fun you could have together) by "eye signals" Don't be too shy. Consider it as a first time a girl is testing you whether you want to date her or not.

Leave the dark corner

This is a continuation of the dating rule Make yourself known. You have to make yourself publicly contactable/available wherever you go. It is wrong to go to a club and then sit down in some dark corner where others cannot even SEE you. It's also wrong to stand quietly around and lean against a wall while reading something. NOBODY will ever start to (eye-)contact you if you do it like this. You have to place yourself where others are and show that you are contactable. As simple as that.

The perfect Woman is a lie

This is probably one the most important advices: Do not want the perfect woman. Even if there was a perfect woman for you, she would only be perfect for your current state of life. As soon as you change (and everybody changes thruout life) she stops to be perfect. The "perfect partner" is a lie which is fed by love songs, soap operas, fairy tales and lonely mothers. The "bodily perfect" partner is a lie by Hollywood and the fashion industry. Just check my website OnMouseOver Shock to see some examples. It can become a kind of "religious habit" to not date a girl just because she seems "imperfect". Or to date a girl and match her against your envisioned perfect lover. It is just unfair. In reality EVERYBODY has flaws and thus cannot be perfect. A really perfect partner would be so perfect it wouldn't be a partner anymore but an omniscient god. Don't believe "voices" in your head telling you "There must be someone just for me somewhere" or "I have to find the perfect partner" or "I believe there is something as perfect love". Those "voices" are traps that make your life harder. In other words: You can't be sure whether those voices are liars or not. Let me suggest to you what is much better than an "imaginary" perfect partner: A real partner who is good. Yes, just good and real and voluntarily loving you. Let him have his flaws and he lets you have yours. The bigger the common ground the better, of course, but trying to form him into a some kind of god/goddess is unrealistic. Thus instead of for a perfect partner, strive for one who is good enough.

The One
There is even an exaggerated continuation of The perfect Woman is a lie. It's the idea that in the whole wide world there is only 1 matching partner. Only 1 soul mate.  Right now the world population is more than 6 billion. It is a totally ridiculous idea if you think about it. Even if you believe that there is a soul mate, it's ridiculous to wait.

Match the match

Another trap you might be in is the TV trap. When you watch TV a lot you may have "heroes" of the opposite sex. Your favourite star. Are you a girl and love Ben Affleck? Are you a boy and love Pamela Anderson? Day-dreaming of being together with Ben or Pamela might stop you to meet a woman who is different than your celebrity but good for you. Matching your current partner against Ben or Pamela is silly because in 99% of the cases you won't meet them at all and in 99% of the cases they differ from the picture they present on TV. And very often they had some plastic surgery done to seduce guys like you. OK, here's my tip: Instead of wanting to be together with your favourite celebrity try to become a celebrity yourself. This gives you way more chances to meet them and it's also fair to them :-)

Different but perfectly good

If I told you typical behaviour patterns, could you tell me whether they apply mostly to men or to women? Let's have a try: Going to the toilet with other persons of the same sex - women or men? Kissing other persons of the same sex without being gay - women or men? Studying mathematics/computer science/physics - women or men? Studying languages/sociology/nursing - women or men? Going out with handbag full of "stuff" to stay attractive - women or men? Brushing hair before bed - women or men?  Repairing cars/houses/computers - women or men? Feeling embarrassed if another person of the same sex wears the same clothes on a party  - women or men? Now, why do I list these examples? To show that women ARE different than men. And also to show that YOU (as a man or as a woman) will hardly adopt some of the habits/characteristics of the opposite sex. Thus the perfect partner can only be as perfect as you are willing to love something that is different than YOU including your partner's  flaws (or what you categorize as flaws).

How can you recognize perfectness?

How could you ever know what "perfect" is, unless you tried something "imperfect"? Let's put it this way: What is the difference between theory and practice? In theory there is no difference. In reality there is. Thus: What you might consider as perfect without trying anything out, might be very well totally unsatisfying. I am not going to extremes here by saying you should date at least 100 women before you know what you want. But there may be some truth in it. Maybe you think that your current partner #3 is perfect while it is (the future) partner #7?

Too similar? Too perfect?

If you consider a perfect partner as "someone who thinks and feels exactly the same" then think again. In the long run it may feel like a brother-sister relationship or a self-self-relationship. Moreover you may spoil your relationship when you realize that there ARE some differences in feeling and in thinking.You like "Alien vs. Predator", your partner likes "Titanic". So what? You like "Britney Spears", your partner likes "Christina Aguilera". So what? You like "Pizza Hut", your partner likes "McDonald's". So what? These differing attitudes should not matter. Better prepare yourself for a perfect partner who DIFFERS but is basically similar/matching. You will differ anyway in some points. It's up to you what level of difference you may tolerate. You should worry more about a differing style regarding child raising. Or whether your partner is a wanted criminal. Or about your partner's attitude to "free love" (= sexual affairs with other persons). Not about Pizza Hut.

Stop to want something
There is a mystery regarding "wanting the perfect partner". Maybe only those get such a partner, who don't want it grimly. Maybe only those get such a partner who decided to want it, but then stopped to desperately want it. Maybe only those with a spirit of play get what they want?

Forever is simply too long

Words like "forever" are spread thruout love songs as if they were propaganda. These words are not romantic, if you think about it. Is a "life sentence" romantic? For your own peace of mind: Do not use words like "forever" or "eternal" in any of your relationships. Maybe I sound too philosophical here, but nothing is forever, thus you'd introduce a lie into your partnership and you'd probably break your own "eternal" word by leaving your partner. Also the concept of "Till death do us part" is another factor in this misconception of relationships. It can even make you wish that your partner "should die" to stop this oath. Have you ever seen old couples who hate each other? Unspoken or outspoken? Is this the life you want to live just for the sake of "Only Mr. Death has the power to decide when to stop our relationship"? In our fast changing times it is very uncommon to meet a partner and stay with him for the rest of the life. Thus we can safely assume that it is not unusual if your partner will NOT be the last or probably will be not the best of all possible partners. How about making your goal to stay with your partner, say, 2 years? You can always re-decide to stay longer. But by making unrealistic goals like "We will stay together until we die = for the next 57 years" makes you run directly into a failure. And why should you fail totally unnecessary? Are you religious and do you believe that every marriage is for eternity? I don't have any real argument against this, since one cannot argue very well with beliefs. But if you believe in eternal love, you might as well believe that "suffering in marriage is god's test". I don't know why god should test us via marital troubles, but maybe this explains why god isn't married.

Become perfect yourself

A good way to find a really good partner is becoming one oneself first. Instead of spending time to find the perfect match you should spend time to become a great husband yourself. Once you are a man who will be a great husband finding a matching wife becomes much easier. It's like looking for the perfect book for years instead of learning how to read first. The same applies to women: Instead of looking for a great husband just become a great wife yourself.

Do something for others

If you suffer from being alone and suffer and suffer then start to do something for others: Become a volunteer. This may loosen the "fixation" on "the other sex" It makes you feel good and valuable. It will probably give you a new slant on life. Maybe you will meet a female co-volunteer (the women in helping professions usually outnumber the men, thus your chances are higher) Maybe you will meet a woman whom you have helped You have a lot to talk about Women will appreciate your "helping attitude"